Distinguishing

I do not presume 

to have entered into the fullness of knowledge.

I am a sojourner on the path, 

searching for my brothers and sisters along the way.  

I have made it my life's goal 

to understand the kingdom of Heaven, 

and to fully enter in.

My journey is causing me to distinguish

what the kingdom is,
and what it is not. 

I was born blessed with the gift of an innate intelligence, 

an instinctive knowledge; a moral compass. 

Trial and error are the means, the map I carry 

to help me blaze the trail. 

I believe I am guided by the King of this Kingdom, 

by the spiritual guidance of our Father, 

by His direct counsel, 

through His comforter assigned to me.

My ego refuses to acknowledge this, 
what it considers a ridiculous notion. 

I am aware of my ego, 

of its many tricks and disguises.  

I am able to distinguish it when it acts up, 

when it attempts to dominate me. 

Most times I am able to ride it.
Sometimes it rides me.

It wins many battles against me.  

Always enigmatic, 

it is a powerful adversary 

and a comforting ally. 

I must conclude that, 

not unlike my eyes or ears, 

my ego is part of the package of my flesh, 

an appendage to my vehicle. 

Like a cocoon, its opposition strengthens me
as I work to escape its grip.

Remember that Star Trek Episode 

where Kirk was involved in a transporter accident 

and it split him into two beings. 

One was gentle and unsure 

while the other was overbearing, 

overconfident, angry and nearly insane. 

The episode struck a chord with me.  

I think there is merit to the idea 

that we are all double-minded 

until the two unique aspects of our being 

are joined as one.

I sometimes ponder 

whether our own ego 

is what Scripture refers to as Satan.  

Yashua told Satan to get behind him 

when Peter opposed him going into Jerusalem 

where he would be killed. 

Was Yashua distinguishing Peter's ego? 

What happens in a room full of out of control egos?  

Chaos and confusion.  

What would a world of collective, 

unrestrained egos look like?  

Hell?